Hey babies, you are growing so big. I am so proud of my little growing belly and telling strangers that I am carrying twins. Each night as I lay down to sleep I rub my belly and rub you both to sleep. In fact I think I have felt you move at night. It felt like I had butterflies in my belly and I am sure they were you. I look forward to the time when I will really feel you move. Please continue growing and know that I don't care if you kick me.

don't look at our messy bed.

Another Dream

Today is January 23, 2010 and your father is still sleeping. I had a very interesting dream last night that felt very real. I dreamt that you were both born healthy, and you were both girls.
But in my dream I was passed out therefore couldn't name you or be with you. So Grandma Maughan took the task and named one of you Brittany LeKade Kanooth. (LeKade was after Leif and Kaden) The other name I don't remember, but I remember it was something really long and I didn't like it. Grandma told me that I delivered both of you vaginally and 23 minutes apart. You were both very healthy and wrapped in pink blankets when I saw you for the first time.

Your First Purchase

Today your mother went to Babies R' Us to buy so gifts for her school friends. Mother was having a lot of fun looking at baby items but knowing she was ONLY buying items for her school friends. Mother took her time looking down each aisle, noting everything she wanted but couldn't buy. Then my eyes beheld something I just had to buy. This wasn't a want, it was a need. And the moment I saw it I knew that my babies needed it. I beheld the cutest onsies I have ever seen. On the tummy it read, "My Twin Did It!" and there was an arrow pointing in both directions. So in the end... you babies bot your first purchase today.

I went home and draped the outfits over Dad's computer. There was a hand written note attached that said, "Today Mommy bought us our first matching outfits!! She can tell from the last ultrasound that we are going to be good friends.... We can't wait to meet you. Love the Twins"

12 Week Appointment

Hey little ones. I got to see you both today, and you were both so active!!! In fact one baby waved to me and the other was doing little somersaults. You were both really close together and the doctor said that you were playing together. I think that means you are going to be great friends.
I loved watching you both move around inside me. What active little things you are. It's funny because I still can't feel you. But I am sure that will change shortly. I also go to hear your heart-beats. One baby's heartbeat was 155 and the other was 165. That means you are both doing fine. I know all of your families prayer are helping you grow.
I look forward to seeing you move around in person. I love you both.

January 6th, 2010

Hi Babies,
I just wanted to write you a note and say I love you. It has been very snowy here in Missouri, and Mommy has been home because of snow days. I made 2 baby blankets today. I made them both pink, but both very individual. I made them pink because I really do feel you are girls. I made them individual because I know that is what you will be.
Yesterday, Leif came into bed late. As he got into bed he said, "I think we are having girls." I told him I thought so too.
We both can't wait for you girls (or boys) to get here. We are very excited.

Love Mom

Christmas 2009

For Christmas this year, Leif and I stayed in Missouri and had our own little Christmas. It was really nice just having it be the 2 of us. We enjoyed opening up our presents, making dinner, going to the movies, napping, and then being with our friends. This year you both gave you Daddy a special gift. The gift was your ultrasound picture in a frame. You had put pink ribbon around it and then wrote, "We love Dad". Your father was really excited about it, and the picture was placed in his study. This way he can see it every day.

The reason the ribbon was pink is because both your mother and father have had dreams that you are going to be girls.

Aunt Amy got married

Aunt Amy got married to Uncle Cody this weekend. And Aunt Kjersti received her endownments. Plus all of the Maughan kids had a small Christmas and got to share presents. It truly was a wonderful weekend.

I love temples. What a special blessing it was to go to the temple 3 times in one weekend. Both Amy and Kjersti were so beautiful as they entered the temple for their first time. They brought a very special spirit with them.

What I love most about temples is the closeness I feel with Heaven. And Heaven is were the 2 of you are right now. When in the Celestial room, my father put his hands over by round belly and said a beautiful prayer. He blessed that you would both grow as long as you could and that my uterus would stretch. He asked Heavenly Father to bless and protect all 3 of us. The prayer he offered was made he feel as such peace. I also wrote "The Kanooth Children" on the prayer roll. Now I know many prayers are being said for us. It truly was a spiritual and fun weekend. I was so thankful that I had the chance to go.

What a fun family you are both going to enter.

Dreams

Your Father and I went out tonight for our 4 year anniversary dinner. We had a really nice time together eating and talking. And tonight your father today me a really sweet dream.

Leif dream was that he was holding a beautiful little girl about 4 months. He said the little girl felt like she belonged to him. He said it was a really special feeling he felt just holding his little girl. (The interesting thing about this is that your father is going to be gone for 3 months right after your births. This means when he sees you again, you will both be 3-4 months.)


Then last night in bed, Leif woke me up due to talking in his sleep. In his sleep Leif said, "You can't go... You can't go... Candace, you have a piano concert tonight." I don't know what he was dreaming, but we both now love the name Candace. Pulse we have always wanted our children to play the piano.
Our anniversary dinner.

Post Surgery

I had another Doctors appointment on December 10th. Dr. Rosburge said that the surgery went really well. I learned that they did take out my rudimentary horn. So now you babies have more room to grow!! We also did an ultrasound, and you are both still doing well. I love seeing your little heart beats, and seeing your picture come onto the scream. It makes me fill with joy.

Surgery

Wednesday December 2nd my work phone rang as we were finishing up a team meeting. My work phone never rings! But I got it and it was Dr. Rosburg's nurse. She and the doctor had been trying to get a hold of me all morning. It seems that the ultrasound done on Monday did detect an egg and they think it IS an ectopic pregnancy. Meaning they thought I had 2 eggs make it into the uterus and one egg not quite make it. The end result was that I needed surgery and it needed to be done today. Doctor already make me a time shot for 4:00p.m.
Wow, I have never ran into a brick wall but that is what it just felt like. I didn't know what to do or who to call. Dr. Rosburg told me that he would call my father and talk to him about the situation. He did and it was very refreshing to know that father also thought I should go through with the surgery. So, I finished some last paper work and headed home. Knowing that my students would be taken care of.
Leif meet me at home and then drove me to the hospital. Well, surgery is something I have never experienced before and probably I would never like to experience again!!!! The nurses were all really nice to me but the waiting period is so long. My anxiety was rising and my mind was racing. Finally at almost 6:00p.m. I was sent back to the Operating Room. The anesthesiislogist told me what he was going to do and then placed a mask over my nose. I started to say a prayer that my babies would be ok, and the next thing I remember was being woken up by the doctor. We were in the recovery room and he was doing an ultrasound to make sure my twins were ok.
So, besides 3 incisions in my belly, what what the conclusion of the surgery? It's a long story, but I did not have an ectopic pregnancy. I have what is called an unicornuate uterus. In other words, I have half a a uterus and a non working 1/2 uterus. So in conclusion, my 2 babies have half a uterus to grow in. Therefore, my babies will either miscarry or be very premature. It is a scary conclusion because both situations are scary.
I so bad want to be a mother and have children of my own. I want to raise them with my husband. But my body is making this very hard on me. I would love to see these twins be born with no complications, but it will take a lot of faith and prayer. I pray with all my heart that you two babies will grow healthy and strong. Please make it to earth so I can be your mother.

My uterus is the no horn (d), as of after my surgery.

Ultrasound # 2

On Monday, November 30th I had another ultra sound. Doctor Rosburge wants to continue to watch my left ovary. There was something next to it that might be an ectopic pregnancy, so they wanted to get another look. So they got their second look and I got to hear my babies heartbeat again. So, baby A's heartbeat was 128 and baby B's heartbeat was 137. That means my babies are both growing and both getting bigger. I is always so much fun to see the little babies, and they have gotten so big in just one week. Daddy says because both heart beats are improving, it is a really good sign. I really think they are both going to make it.

Appointment # 2

Wednesday the 25th of November I had another appointment with the doctor. They wanted to make sure that everything was OK with my left ovary. So in order to do that, I had another ultrasound taken. I again got to see both of you.
Baby A was doing really good, and baby B was hanging in there. For some reason, baby B was harder to see today, and the doctor told me that baby B might not make it. This saddens me. I so bad would love to have 2 little babies to hold and love. Yet, my faith is still strong, and I am praying each night for the 2 of you. I know that what ever happens is in the Lords hands. But my faith will stay strong.
Hang on Baby B. I would love you have you in our family.

It's Twins!!!!!!!!!

Today was my first doctors appointment. The appointment was really just to take an official pregnancy test. Yet, it turned into a really LONG appointment. My neighbor Alisha Bangert happened to be the medical assistant on call, so she made it really personable. Alisha gave me tons of prenatal along with an H1N1 shot. She already knew my worries and had the doctor come in and see me. I was really worried that Dr. Rosburge would be upset with me for taking the clomide, but he was all congrats. He said he was worried when I didn't come back in, and had been wondering about me. He ended up telling me to get an ultrasound due to my spotting.

So, I gave Alisha a big hug and heading to my ultrasound. The tec was very nice, and listened to all my silly stories. As the ultrasound was in progress I kept asking her, "Do you see my baby? Is there a heart beat?". And you won't believe what we saw. TWINS!!!! Two healthy, heart-beating twins. As soon as I saw the 2 little beans, I started to cry. I can't believe it! I so needed to see the little heart beats. And what better then 2! I am so thankful the Lord entrust me with 2 little babies. I know he is aware of me and my trials. This second baby will never take the place of the one we lost, but was a blessing. The Lord watches out for us. I am so thankful for my little beans.

This is Leif and I celebrating our twins with Ice-Cream.

I am scared

Today is November 19, 2009, and I have to vent. I am so scared that I might lose you. I did a Paliates class yesterday and then found a little blood on the toilet paper, while in the bathroom. I was nervous. But it was just a little blood. Today at school I wiped and found a little more blood. I know people say that it is normal to spot, but I am scared. In fact, I called that doctor and made my first appointment for Monday the 23rd. I pray everything is fine.

Your father gave me the sweetest Priesthood Blessing last Sunday. I so bad wanted him to bless me that this pregnancy would go perfect and everything would work out perfect! But, my sweet husband started the blessing with the words, "If it be Gods will." And that is what I know. If it is the Lords will everything will work out.

As for now I regret running a race last Saturday and doing Paliates yesterday. From now on, I am going to take it easy.

Our News Letter (we sent to our parents)

A Day in the Life of Rachel & Leif
Time is flying by faster then a rocket ship. It feels like Leif and I just made our trek to Missouri even though we have lived in the Midwest over 2 years. Despite the humidity and bugs, we love it here. The only thing we wish for is a chance to see our families more! We miss you all and wish you Happy Holidays. Enjoy our family news letter; we miss you all.
Leif is currently in his 3rd year of Medical School and enjoying working in the clinics and hospitals. During September he heard a lot of crying babies in his pediatric rotation. October was a scary month with a family medicine rotation and swine flu going around. His current rotation is Internal Medicine at a VA hospital.
Rachel is currently teaching class-within-a-class at a nearby Middle School. She loves learning along with her students, and has truly enjoyed World History and Chemistry. After school she teaches an intramural cooking class, and continues to serve at an Italian restaurant 3 days a week. With all this food exposure, she has stated to enjoy cooking and is thankful that Leif will eat almost anything she cooks!
Together we have a lot of fun playing with our friends and just being together. Rachel has enjoyed implementing family traditions and Leif is a great sport. We can’t wait to start a family and continue the fun.

What is Really News Worthy
November 15, 2009 I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. The reason I couldn’t go back to sleep was because this was the day that I was going to take a pregnancy test. I also knew you are supposed to take pregnancy tests in the morning and what better day then a Sunday.
Quietly I excited the bedroom while Leif was still sleeping. Two little, pink lines quickly showed up on the pregnancy test bringing a huge smile to my face.
“We’re Pregnant!!!!”
I then wrote a short note to Leif and left it by the positive test. Leif slept for another hour and a half. My anticipation was more than I could bear, so I woke Leif up from his slumber. I made him get up and go to the bathroom. He already knew, but he went anyway, came back and gave me a big and a kiss.
Our little baby is due in July. We are so excited and wanted to make sure you knew

About your conception

Dear Child,

You have been wanted for a very long time now. You have been prayed for and fasted for. Your parents have been tried and have shown great faith. We are sooooo excited to be able to start our family.
I am sure you know about your sweet brother Kaden. He passed away in your mother tummy and no doctor could tell us why. After your brother was born and buried in January of 2009, we waited until his due date until trying for you. We thought that getting pregnant would be easy like it was the first time. But God knows us better then we know ourselves and he gave us another trial right after our first one.
We tried to get pregnant for 6 months and then realized that we needed some outside help. Your Grandpa Maughan was a big help. He guided us along the way and helped us realize that I wasn't ovulating.
We then went to the doctor and tried to get more help. After some testing and bills, I was given a medicine to help me ovulate.
And it worked! November 15th, 2009 we found our we are expecting. Leif and I are so excited and can't wait for you to come into our lives.

Just found out we are PREGNANT!!!!

Today is November 15, 2009 and we just found our that we are pregnant with you. You are due on July 17th, 2010 and we are so excited to have you become part of our family. Welcome into our world. So, dear child this is your blog. This is were Leif and I will write about you and write to you . Hopefully this blog will become something you value in your future. As of now you are only 2 week old, but we love you. We can't wait to meet you.
****************************************************

Sunday November 15th I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. I couldn't go back to sleep for two main reasons; I wasn't tired anymore, and I knew today was going to be the day that I would take a pregnancy test.
So that is just what I did. I quietly exited the bedroom where your father was left sleeping and headed into the bathroom. After just a few seconds 2 pink lines slowly became clear on the pregnancy test. "We are pregnant!" I was so excited, I was so happy, I wanted to scream. But instead of screaming, I went into the office and wrote your father a note for him to see when he went into the bathroom. After placing the note next to the positive test, I went downstairs and read my scriptures on the couch. 1 hour pass, and Leif was still sleeping! My anxiety was too overwhelming so I climbed the stairs to awake the soon to be father. Leif rolled over from his slumber as I told him he needed to go into the bathroom.
I believe Leif already knew what was going on, but he was kind enough to humor me. After what felt like 5 minutes in the bathroom, Leif finally came out. He then preceded to give me my congratulations kiss and hug and told me how excited he was. We are having a baby! We are pregnant! We have waiting for this day for a very long time.
Congratulations to us!!!!!!

This is the note I left in the bathroom for Leif.

We were so happy the day we found out!!!!